The last blog post, 10 Tips for Finding a Healer, Teacher, or Life Coach, covered the first 5 tips for finding a guide or healer that can assist you on your journey to your highest potential. Here are the next 5 tips:
6. Stay away from anyone who uses guilt to get you to do what they like.
“I have spent all this time on you so far and I really think that you have benefited a great deal…” Stay away from anyone who uses guilt, and pay attention to what makes you feel guilty! There may be a piece of healing that needs to be done on your end. Yet, if a coach or mentor has a way of making you feel guilty about things, I suggest you look for someone who knows how to express their disapproval without instilling guilt.
7. Stay away from those who create co-dependency.
Someone who makes you feel that you need him or her in order to heal is probably either unhealed or not consciously practicing the highest of intentions and ethics. Remember, you have the power to heal yourself. Miracles are possible, and the goal is to empower you to be able to do your own self-healing and empowerment. You have choices rather than a need.
8. Look for someone who can take honest feedback and rejection.
When you are on your healing path, there is no room for defensiveness, passive-aggressiveness, or otherwise hard feelings from your coach or mentor. Your agenda is your coach’s agenda, so if something doesn’t resonate with you, your coach has to be able to hear it.
9. Look for someone who is willing to refer you to others when your needs warrant it.
No one is an expert in everything. Knowing where you can help someone and where you cannot is a sign of an authentic coach, healer, or mentor. If someone refuses to refer you, or wrinkles their nose at the idea of you working with someone else, that is a red flag. Any authentic coach has to allow you to build a team around you that can support you on your path.
10. Be wary of people who are set in their ways and have set beliefs about people or the world.
Coaches who say “Well, it takes time to heal” or “People with your background have diabetes written all over them…” are poisonous for your soul. In truth, there is no “People like you”. You are entirely unique, and by projecting other people’s qualities onto you they are not making it easier for you to be your authentic self. If a statistic says that 98 percent of people with your cancer die, and your healer believes it too, then look for someone who sees the two percent that survive. Of course in this situation, this person cannot make many promises-there are no guarantees. But it is important to work with someone who sees possibilities, not probabilities.
So there you have it. I hope that my tips provide a bit more clarity when choosing your next healer, teacher, mentor, or life coach. As always, my goal is to be of service to you. So remember, above all, trust your gut. Nobody knows you better than you!